Acknowledge Their Experience
As a caregiver, it is important that you show you are sensitive to what your family member or friend is feeling. Seeing things from their perspective will help you better understand and communicate with them. This is a way to acknowledge what they are saying. One thing you should avoid doing in a conversation is to deny or dismiss what your family member or friend is going through. At times, your family member or friend may believe things that are not real to you, but which are very real to them. Believing things that are not real is called a delusion. Acknowledge that these beliefs are real, without supporting the delusion.
Here are examples that show the difference between acknowledging what an individual with schizophrenia is going through and denying or dismissing it.

(FF): “I don’t want to go to Lisa’s wedding next week.”
(CG): “I understand that you don’t want to go to Lisa’s wedding. May I ask why not?”
(FF): “If I go to the wedding, then the people there will think bad things about me and try to hurt me.”
(CG): “That’s ridiculous. People at the wedding won’t think bad things about you. And there is no reason why they would hurt you.”
(FF): “If you make me go to the wedding, those people will hurt me!”
In this example, the caregiver dismissed her family member’s feelings (“That’s ridiculous. People at the wedding won’t think bad things about you. And there is no reason why they would hurt you.”). As a result, the family member became defensive.
Here’s a better way to approach the situation:

(FF): “I don’t want to go to Lisa’s wedding next week.”
(CG): “I understand that you don’t want to go to Lisa’s wedding. May I ask why not?”
(FF): “If I go to the wedding, then the people there will think bad things about me and try to hurt me.”
(CG): “Well, I can understand why you would not like to go to the wedding if you feel that people would do those things. That would be kind of scary. Right?”
(FF): “Right. If I get trapped there and there’s no way out they’ll get me.”
(CG): “Well, I wouldn’t want you to feel trapped and I wouldn’t want anyone to get you. You know, I feel you may enjoy seeing your cousing at her wedding, and I’m sure she would enjoy seeing you. If I stay with you throughout the wedding, would that make it less scary for you?”
(FF): “Maybe.”
(CG): “Good. I am glad to hear that. So will you reconsider going if I promise to stay with you throughout the wedding?”
(FF): “Yes, I’ll reconsider.”
In the second example, the caregiver acknowledged her family member’s emotions (“That would be kind of scary. Right?”). But the caregiver did not support the delusion. In other words, the caregiver simply stated that her family member felt that the people at the wedding would hurt her. But the caregiver never agreed that the people at the wedding would in fact do this.
The caregiver treated her with respect, understood that she was scared, and helped her reconsider going to the event. The caregiver also said “I feel” instead of “I think.” Saying “I feel” is more respectful and less threatening.
